Why we need to be practicing (and modeling) gratitude, particularly in these troubling times
Could gratitude be the cure?
November is National Gratitude Month, and I wanted to share why gratitude is a fundamental habit to cultivate if we want our children (and ourselves) to experience flourishing well-being. Why not expand the season of Thanksgiving and use it as an opportunity to strengthen your family?
This November is sure to be a rough month, no matter how you look at it. As I write this, it’s the day before the 2020 Election Day in the U.S., and I’m not counting on a clear winner being declared any time soon. It’s more likely to be a drawn-out, divisive scenario playing out over the next several weeks. (As if we need more drama and divisiveness.) In addition, we’re bombarded by news reports about the pandemic: another round of lockdowns in Europe, a worrisome rise in COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations across the U.S., and gloomy reports for the next few months as we head into the winter season. It’s enough to make anyone feel depressed.
That’s why I think it’s so important right now to CHOOSE gratitude. To acknowledge and appreciate the goodness in the world—the big and the small. Not only will it anchor us, it will model something very important to our children. The best way to teach our children is to live it, right? If we tell them to be grateful but they hear us complaining all the time and never expressing gratitude, it’s no surprise if they also have a poor attitude. And a poor attitude guarantees a lifetime of misery. Guar-an-tees it.
If you didn’t grow up with gratitude being modeled for you, it may take some practice before it becomes a normal part of your adult life. But the good news is: gratitude IS a practice. Practice means you just keeping doing it, over and over again. Small steps over time produce noticeable results. It’s a discipline you build, just like any other discipline.
Best of all? It’s free to practice and, even better, it’s free to give away!
So, what are some of the benefits of practicing gratitude?
You may not realize this, but over the last 15 years, researchers have found numerous benefits of gratitude-- not only psychological but social and physical benefits as well! While it may seem like common sense-- most religious faiths teach some version of “counting your blessings”-- we have a clearer idea now just how beneficial gratitude can be. It’s true that grateful people are happier people.
While many studies have found a positive effect of gratitude on healthy individuals, research also suggests that gratitude can help just about anyone: from those struggling with mental health issues (e.g., depression, anxiety, trauma) to people struggling with adversity and medical conditions. Gratitude is linked to many good things!
Here’s a round-up of the top research findings on gratitude:
Gratitude increases happiness, life satisfaction, optimism, joy, pleasure, and a host of other positive emotions.
Gratitude helps to reduce depression and anxiety. It’s been shown to significantly decrease hopelessness among suicidal individuals.
Gratitude strengthens the immune system, reduces illness symptoms, and lowers blood pressure. It’s even been linked to less cancer re-growth (!) in breast cancer patients, and less physical affliction in general.
Gratitude has been linked to better sleep--both in quality and quantity! Grateful people have an easier time falling asleep and staying asleep. (Just another good reason to teach your child to count their blessings at bedtime.)
Gratitude is linked to greater resilience. It’s been found to help people recover from trauma, including Vietnam war veterans suffering from P.T.S.D. and victims of natural disasters and political conflicts (hmm, sound familiar?).
Gratitude creates stronger relationships by instilling greater feelings of closeness and commitment, satisfaction, and cultivating forgiveness.
Gratitude is linked to prosocial behaviors, such as compassion and altruistic behaviors.
Gratitude has been shown to have a positive effect on children and adolescents, helping them to be more generous, resilient, and satisfied with life. It also promotes a greater sense of connection to their community and schools.
Gratitude seems to protect against hurt feelings, fostering more patience and less aggression.
Gratitude has been linked to better self-care practices, including exercising and eating for one’s health.
After reading that list, who wouldn’t want to get better at practicing gratitude?
Your challenge, should you choose to take it
Here’s the thing: this season might be particularly challenging for you. Your preferred presidential candidate may not win. Someone you love may fall ill. Life may zig and zag, not going in the nice, straight path you have envisioned for yourself. You may feel like 2020 is kicking your butt.
I want to challenge all of us (yes, myself included!) to use these last few months of the year-- surely, one of the more challenging years, collectively speaking, in our lifetime-- as an OPPORTUNITY. (One might say it’s the opportunity of a lifetime.)
It’s the perfect opportunity to focus on something we can control: having a heart of gratitude. If we can be grateful in times like these, it seems safe to say we’ll be able to tap into our gratitude resources when external events improve.
Remember: gratitude is a choice.
It changes what we focus on, and thereby changes our perspective. By changing our perspective, it literally has the power to change our lived experience. Our lives. Our children’s lives. And potentially, our children’s children’s lives.
What better gift can you give yourself and your family than to cultivate a practice of gratitude?
What better legacy could you leave?
Stay with me as I share evidence-based strategies (and some ancient wisdom) shown to increase gratitude!
